Contrasts enriches your life

Tips to change your anxiety forever

This is for you who struggles with anxiety and wants to have better quality of life.


You can read all the anti-anxiety advice in the world, but none of this matters unless you take action. To feel more relaxed, to sleep soundly at night, and to put energy into what matters, you have to stop wasting time on tasks that don’t matter.

I hope that in the end of this article, your are wiser in how you can take action on your anxiety and from hard work your life could become infinitely more productive and Zen-like. Your part is to commit to 15-60 minutes per day and tackle a few of the following 22 anxiety busters below.

The more you commit, the better you’ll feel, and you deserve to have a great life.

You’re probably familiar with some of these anxiety strategies. But if you experience racing thoughts, tightening in your chest, and shortness of breath, you haven’t done all of them.


1. Start deep-breathing

If you’re not focused on how to calm your body through slow, intentional belly-breathing, you’re missing out. Belly-breathing is free, location independent, and easy to implement.

1. Sit with your eyes closed and turn your attention to your breathing. Breathe naturally, preferably through the nostrils, without attempting to control your breath.

2. Be aware of the sensation of the breath as it enters and leaves the nostrils. Place one hand on your belly, and the other on your chest. Take a deep breath for a count of four. Hold your breath for a count of three. Exhale for a count of four. The hand on your belly should go in as you inhale, and move out as you exhale.

3. Concentrate on your breath and forget everything else. Your mind will be very busy, and you may even feel that the meditation is making your mind busier, but the reality is you’re just becoming more aware of how busy your mind is.

4. Resist the temptation to follow the different thoughts as they arise, and focus on the sensation of the breath. If you discover that your mind has wandered and is following your thoughts, immediately return it to the breath.

5. Repeat this as many times as necessary until your mind settles on the breath.
Don’t wait to begin belly-breathing. The sooner you make this a daily habit, the quicker you’ll feel relaxed.

When you implement belly-breathing, you start the day in a here-and-now state. Better yet, you’re not wasting time worrying about the future, or reliving the past. Always remember that it is this present moment that matters.


If the anxiety catches you momentarily and you need to act right now, then do like below.


2. Meditate instead of medicate

Calm is an inside job. Give yourself the gift of serenity and start the day with ten minutes of solitude and positive energy. Think calm, measured and open-minded, and your daily activities will correspond.


3. Practice self-care

Get a massage, a mani-pedi, or a haircut. Nothing says polished and well-maintained like a sexy, healthy glow.

If money is tight, look for a discount salon or a training school which offers quality services for people on a budget. So they don’t serve peppermint tea on a silver tray — close your eyes and imagine that five-star service while you take in the pampering you deserve. You can also buy massage balls and other things for self massage.

4. Your breakfast is very  important

Your breakfast is the most important meal. It is your very important start of the day. Therefore eat good things. NO sugar. Have whole wheat bread if you eat bread. Eat different nuts, berries and vegetables. Try paleo food. The proteins and good fat stabilizes your body. Sugar doesn´t.

5. Eliminate soda

That morning jolt of joe can jumpstart your day and provide warmth and comfort, but anything with high fructose corn syrup and 177 other ingredients will not.

You can e.g. switch some of your caffeine out for a soothing green tea. Not only does the caffeine jack up your central nervous system, soda depletes vitamins and minerals from your diet and wreaks havoc on your smile. Teeth become susceptible to cavities when the acid level of your saliva falls below a certain point.

If you drink soda all day, the outer layers of your teeth begin to lose minerals and cavities form. Many dental plans do not cover root canals + you’ll end with a huge bill. Speaking of which:

6. Trim the fat from your budget

Financial stress is a common reason people contact me for psychotherapy. Debt will keep you up at night and contribute to feelings of low self-worth and hopelessness.

Take charge of your finances and stop spending on non-essentials.

Track your daily expenses for a week or two and decide where you can cut back. Notice the items you accumulate mindlessly.

Possible eliminators:

  • Switch out your cable TV for Netflix
  • Contact your car insurance carrier, your mobile device company, or your credit card company and ask if they’ll reduce your bill
  • Cancel your newspaper delivery during the week and opt for the Sunday paper, or an online service, instead

7. Get rid of the clutter

Do you ever wonder how much time is lost when you can’t find your car keys, clothes and other things?

Chances are you’ve got too much stuff clogging up your living space.

Try this quick organization hack:

1. Choose a drawer, cabinet or closet
2. Categorize the stuff you don’t use
3. Make three piles for a) Items to throw away, b) Items to donate, and c) Items to sell

It is very important to clean up your “stuff life” and systemize your life. If not it only frustrates you and makes chaos in your life.

Hold a yard sale and use the money to…

8. Plan a day trip

When you spend time in nature, you give your mind and body a much needed break from the hustle and bustle which causes you to Google things like “How to get rid of anxiety” in the first place.

Chances are no matter where you live, there’s a serene, interesting and charming place within a couple hours.

This is one of my favorites.

Be there

9. Go to bed early

This may sound impossible if you’re accustomed to staying up late to catch up on the To-Do list. But this one’s a MUST.

Sleep deprivation is a huge anxiety culprit. Inadequate shuteye can amplify the brain‘s anticipatory reactions, upping overall anxiety levels, according to research.

“We all have anticipatory anxiety,” explains researcher Fugen Neziroglu. “Having moderate levels of anxiety about doing well is important. But it can be destructive when it begins to interfere with your life.” It’s impossible to have healthy emotional functioning without adequate sleep.

Don’t burn the midnight oil in hopes of catching up on the weekends. Unused sleep minutes don’t roll over.

10. Wake up 15 minutes early

Like most anxious people, you’re probably rushing around in the morning and yelling at everyone in your wake, “Hurry up! We’re going to be late!”

Go slowly, and set yourself up for a relaxed day ahead. If you start to worry about the To-Do list, take a deep breath and think, There is enough time. You can also get extra time with some preparations before you go to bed.

11. Get your lavender on

Lavender oil has many healing properties and can be used as a natural remedy to reduce anxiety and other nervous conditions. There are many ways to incorporate lavender into your calm tool kit:

1. Add essential lavender oil to your bath water for a calming bath. Use water infused with lavender leaves to soothe painful joints and muscles.

2. Fall asleep quicker when you add a few drops to a tissue and place under your pillow.

3. Use lavender in an oil diffuser to help with insomnia. The sweet woody smell of the lavender oil helps you to fall asleep and stay asleep.

4. For headaches, apply lavender oil to a cotton ball or your fingertips and massage slowly into your temples. The smell will relax you as the oil eases your headache.

5. Lavender is used in aromatherapy massage as a muscle relaxant. Massage the oil into the skin and unknot the muscles of the back and reduce spasms.

6. Lavender can be used as an expectorant. It breaks up the mucous from nasal and chest congestion that accompanies a cold.

7. Inhale lavender oil to help with pain management, especially after a workout, a therapy session, or surgery.

Bunch of lavender on a white background.

The smell of lavendel is just fantastic

12. Reduce caffeine, sugar and processed foods from your diet

Caffeine can cause heart palpitations if you ingest too much. Caffeine also can trigger panic or anxiety attacks, especially if you have an anxiety disorder. Hypoglycemia, or low blood sugar, can also cause palpitations.

Sugar acts as an adrenal stimulant and can cause anxiety or even panic attacks. Other offensive foods include those containing refined flour products, and even wheat since this causes inflammation.

Besides caffeine, and sugar, food allergies are a big contributing factor in your overactive central nervous system. Do this step along with #13…

13. Go green

Diet affects anxiety. A morning glass of green juice can get you on the right side of calm.

For a different and delicious way to get your daily vegetables try this recipe: Combine one banana or green apple, a bunch of kale, sliced ginger, one lime, cucumber slices, a few ice cubes, and a cup of water to a blender or juicer. For added protein, add an egg, yogurt, nuts, or protein powder.

14. Know that feelings are not facts and are not you as a person

One of the hardest jobs of a psychotherapist is to convince your anxious client that the feelings of low self-worth, guilt and shame are not accurate. Negative thoughts cause negative feelings. This one’s tricky because many of our negative thoughts are automatic, deeply internalized, and rooted in the unconscious.


Do this in tandem with #15…

15. Challenge negative core beliefs

Remember that thoughts precede feelings. Negative thoughts lead to negative emotions, which lead to negative behaviors. For example:

  • Jocelyn wakes up and immediately thinks, I’m gonna blow the PowerPoint presentation today. I just want to stay in bed all day
  • She feels unmotivated, nervous and sluggish
  • She yells at her kids when they don’t dress fast enough

How to challenge your negative mood:

1. Record your thoughts periodically. Pay attention to when you feel stressed out.

2. Write the feelings that accompany the thoughts. Think one-word responses like frustrated, angry, worthless and defeated, etc.

3. Challenge reality. This is hard because we tend to lack objectivity about the truth. Is there proof you don’t deserve that job promotion? Were you written up because of shoddy work performance?

If you commit to recording your daily thoughts and feelings, along with reality testing, you’ll see that many of your negative feelings are created in your mind, and not based in reality.
The good news is you created the negative thought, and you can uncreate it.

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16. Practice gratitude

As bad as your situation is, there’s always someone in a worse predicament.
Read a chapter of Man’s Search for Meaning by Viktor Frankl, or check out the headline of the daily newspaper. Be thankful your life is not the feature story.

Make a mental note of the positive things in your life. Remember everything in life is temporary — the good, the bad, and the ugly.

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17. Get some accountability

If you’re BFF with Nervous Nellie or Anxious Allen, put your keyed-up energy to good use. Vow to work on healthier ways to cope when feeling stressed.

How to get your accountability on:

  • Share this resource with a friend
  • Pick a few strategies that resonate with both of you
  • Make a plan to call each other out when you stray
  • Give praise when you make positive changes
  • Start a Facebook group and post regular tips to decrease stress and anxiety

18. Attend a social gathering (even if you don´t want to)

If you’re prone to social anxiety, it’s important to make time for socialization. It’s cool to be an introvert, but know that we live in a universe that revolves around connecting with others.

19. Scedule a physical exam to rule out a medical condition for your anxiety 

If your anxiety has spiked recently, or if you were previously able to cope with life, and now not so much, your doctor can determine if there’s a medical condition responsible for your anxiety. Ask for a blood panel, and be honest about your symptoms.

20. Scedule a visit with a therapist

Nobody deserves to feel bad. A qualified mental health professional is your best bet if your anxiety is unbearable.

Ask a trusted friend or colleague for a referral, or use the Psychology Today directory for a therapist in your area.

21. Exercise, exercise, exercise and exercise

Exercise is nature’s anti-anxiety remedy. Besides clearing the mind, firing up many neurotransmitters, and helping you sleep soundly at night, researchers have found that individuals who exercise vigorously and regularly were 25 percent less likely to develop an anxiety disorder within five years.

22. Accept your anxiety

Whether you inherited the “anxiety gene” from your parents, or your lifestyle, or both, accept your anxiety rather than fight it.

It’s not about rolling over and giving up. Understand you have to work hard every day to bring calm to your environment.

Remember there’s always options in life, and worse fates exist than being anxiety-sensitive. After all, when push comes to shove, at the end of the (stressed out) day, anxious people get the job done!


23. Check out these free online ressources

I’ve created a few relaxation audios for you. All resources are free, downloadable and portable. Click this link.

The key to making the actions above work is consistency. You’re the expert on your life. Choose the ones that work best for you, and give ’em a shot.

See you on the calm side!

Love, health and wisdom




4 kommentarer

  • Very helpful info and worth for reading.

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