Secretly, every woman wants an alpha male. (Why do you think romance novels are the highest-selling books every year?) What romance writers are tapping into is a universal desire hard-wired into the female psyche from the dawn of time: an intense attraction to masculine displays of integrity, strength and power.
Note: For women, it’s not about looks or money; it’s about energy. It’s not about aggressive action; it’s about right action. It’s not about the way a man talks; it’s about the way a man makes decisions. It all comes down to the self-awareness and self-mastery a man displays (especially in social situations).
And when a man displays these alpha qualities, he meets three basic requirements that women look for in potential mates:
- Female Desire #1: Status and Power
- Female Desire #2: Strength and Safety
- Female Desire #3: Mastery and Consistency
All that to say this…
Men who consistently display these traits are alpha males. These are the men that women compete and fall all over themselves for.
In fact, even when an alpha guy falls short, women are more likely to forgive and overlook his imperfections. Why? Because women know that men who consistently display these types of traits are rare, and are therefore highly-valued.
Did you know?
You may or may not know this, but all women (even the one you’ve been married to for years) mentally assign certain values (or points) to certain types of behaviors. To a woman, a man’s actions, words, thoughts or attitude in any given situation or setting falls into one of two categories: “high status” behavior (attractive) and “low status” behavior (unattractive).
And so it goes without saying…
Men who consistently display alpha attributes are seen as high status males. So, it’s no wonder that so many men have been known to “fake their alpha status” via cars, flashy jewels and other material props.
The challenge is that while he can fool her for a while… he can’t fool her forever. Soon, as the glamor wears off and she gets a glimpse of his low status behavior… she begins to lose respect, desire and interest in him.
Is there a way for a guy to overcome all that? Is there a way for a man to win back her respect and admiration, even if he has displayed beta traits? And is there a way for him to earn back the credibility his own immature (beta) side cost him?
The answer is yes. There’s still a way for him to win. All he has to do is dial up those alpha traits and reengage that call to actualize his highest potential… and he can recapture that “high status male” position in her mind.
Unfortunately, most guys do the exact opposite.
Once they fall from grace (when they do something that displays “low status” or act like an immature beta male), what they tend to do — instead of falling back on their natural leadership or alpha skills to help recapture any ground they’ve lost — is they continue relying on low status behaviors and immature tactics to get them out of trouble. But of course this never works; in fact, it only causes them to lose more ground.
But, that’s not going to be your story.
If you’ve lost any ground with a woman… if you find yourself “walking on eggshells”… if you’ve heard words like “I love you but I’m not IN love with you”… if she’s pushed you into the “friend zone”… then chances are, it’s because you’ve lost that high status position in her mind.
But, I’m here to tell you: You can recapture that position. You can “alpha up” and recapture any status, power or admiration you lost.
And to help you do that…
Coming up next are four guiding questions you can use to guide your choices, actions and decisions towards recapturing that “high status male” position in her mind.
Why these four questions?
Simple: These are the areas and situations where you’re most likely to “lose” status points. The opposite is likewise true: They’re also the places you stand to “score” the most status points. Your job then is to learn to display more alpha traits in these four areas. Now, of the four, I’m going to share with you a secret: Number 4 is perhaps the most important of them all, so when you get to that question, I suggest you slow down and really pay attention.
Your mission (should you choose to accept it):
- Review the beta vs. alpha traits shown in each graphic.
- Self-evaluate, using your intuition (gut) as your guide, as to how committed or consistent you have been in moving toward those alpha traits or behavior.
- Make a commitment to remove any beta traits and replace them with alpha traits for the next 30 days.
Why 30 days? Two reasons.
Reason #1: Because that’s about how long it will take for her to begin to notice your changes and respond to them appropriately. A month is a “full cycle” in the female world. You need to give her at least that long to notice and respond to your changes. (Of course, she’s going to be skeptical and maybe even hostile for the first three weeks or so. Don’t let that stop you. Keep going!)
Reason #2: You need a month to test it for yourself. It takes 21 days to form a new mental habit; give yourself time to adjust and to notice the responses you’re getting — not just from your partner, but also from the world in general. Then, after 30 days, you can evaluate. Decide for yourself which way works better for you.
- Notice! This is about evaluating, not criticizing yourself.
- Notice! This is about consistently moving towards high status behaviors, not changing or compromising.
- Notice! This is about increasing self-awareness, not inflicting self-judgment.
Let´s finally try to compare what women and men want from each other. Fundamentally we are not that different. Infact we have the same essential needs. After that there are some differences…..
Love men and women