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Mindset

To Be Attractive

Attraction isn’t only about looks. It’s about a certain primal magnetism. Of course, we can be physically attracted to someone, but we are more often drawn to their confidence, passion and personality. Being attractive is about more than just appearance. In fact:

Attractiveness is the basis of all human relationships.

Not only is attraction the basis of finding a romantic partner, but we are also attracted to work with certain people. We are attracted to certain friendships. We are even attracted to certain coffee shops because we like their vibe, their menu or their location. Attractiveness is an essential part of understanding what motivates people.

If you want to make people want you, if you want to be attractive, if you want to understand people, you need to learn:

The Rules of Attraction

and

New York Times best-selling author and developmental molecular biologist, John Medina discovered that the brain has a very short attention span. Our brains are attracted to intriguing, interesting, engaging people and things. Luckily, you are an intriguing, interesting, engaging person!

You also have to be aware of your body language. You can use body language to show availability and increase your attractiveness in interactions.

Open Torso: Body language research has shown that keeping your torso, chest and abdomen open to the world is best way to show availability. Crossed arms, clutching a wine glass in front of your stomach, checking a phone in front of your chest or hugging a purse to your center are all ways we close our body language and seem unavailable. Studies have shown that we actually close our body language when we are feeling mentally closed off.

Hands: We love to see people’s hands. Studies have found that when we can’t see people’s hands we have trouble trusting them. When you put your hands in your pockets, tuck them under the table or hide them behind a coat, you’re attractiveness decreases because people can’t open up to you.

Love, Health And Wisdom

Brian

13. juli 2018 af wisemovement

Health, Healthy food, Meditation, Mindset, Physical activity, Wellness

WiseMovement Health and training day 1

Hi there. Time for action.

You are responsible for your health, so do good things for yourself.

I hope I can inspire you with this ordinary day in my life. This is what I do every morning except point 6 – 8. You have to have variaty in your training to train different kind of things in your body and also break patterns that will easily accur in each and every ones lives.

A liter of water with fresh squeezhed lemon and ginger.
5 min. Morning meditation
5 min. stretch series
A handfull of almonds, a handfull of hazelnuts, a handfull of walnuts, 2 fresh dates, a banana, a half avocado, two cups of fresh filtered coffee.
20 min. of mental and outfit preparation
5 min. sandbag warm up
1 km warm up run.
4 x WiseMovement Circle Crossfit series after 1 km run in between.
20 min. of stretch in every used muscle.
Breakfast: Broccoli, Kale, garlic, onions, fish cake and blackcurrant, tomatoes, cherries, raspberries, strawberries, blueberries, rosemary, spearmint, and basil from my garden and a liter of water.

Sorry about the headless guy ;o). But it is not headless meditation. Focus on deep breathing and the same time feeling Mother Earth below you.

Stretching is very good for your body in the morning.

The last stretching exercise “pick apples” is in the right place ;o)

The next video is warm up with the sandbag. You must have a sandbag. It is just perfect training.

Now I am ready for the 1 km warm up before I begin the very hard training of WiseMovement Circle Crossfit series as you can see below.

After each of these stations I run 1 km with different kinds of run. Backwards, sidewards with armswing and crossing legs, high speed, low speed and up and down stairs. Then I am ready to do the circle crossfit again. This I will do four times this day.

After this it is time for the muscle stretching and 1 km slow run home for the breakfast. Well earned…..don´t you think ;o).

I wish you the best training. See you soon. More healthy :o).

Love, Health And Wisdom

Brian

12. juli 2018 af wisemovement

Learning and development, Mindset

Rules of a Gentleman

The Age of the Gentleman — that semi-imaginary time we all have in our heads where men you actually wanted to sleep with wore fedoras and treated ladies like ladies — might be over, but there’s no reason it can’t come back again. I certainly should. We just need to set up a few ground rules for being a modern Cary Grant/Paul Newman/Ken Cosgrove. We’ll all be drinking scotch and wearing linen suits again in no time.

Being a gentleman is more about than just acts of chivalry. The truth is, it’s about dealing directly with man’s greatest burden, his unfilled potential.

If you become obsessed with being the most courteous man in the world, you’ll end up in one place:

A life of quiet desperation.

The reality is, you need a war plan that’s ethical, moral and honest. For most, accepting the truth isn’t easy.

A great deal of the rules for being a gentleman in today’s times are written for the weak minded males.

Any man of decent character already knows how to treat a woman and the simplest rules of common courtesy. These choices all come to us naturally. A gentleman doesn’t need a reminder to do the right thing; he walks tall, sure of both his words and actions.

While every male is born a man, being a successful gentleman is not for everyone.

Regardless of whether you are picking up a man or a woman, you do so with tact, confidence and humility. You do not treat people as commodity to be conquered, but as souls to be loved.

Some girls like them bad, some like them nerdy. However, there is one breed of a man that will forever have a soft spot in the hearts of ladies: the gentleman. True gentlemen, as some ladies lament, are a dying breed. While it was once the gold standard of being a true man, the art of being a gentleman is slowly fading from the modern guy’s consciousness. Finding a real man, then, is a rare treat.

Now, before you go out and ride on a thoroughbred stallion like some period drama character, the ways of a true gentleman actually differ from what Hollywood tropes suggest. Nope, you don’t need to dress like a dandy and sport a phony British accent, like you came straight from a Jane Austen novel. Being a gentleman is something you must strive for and should not be treated like an act, where you can go on and off character.

Love, Health And Wisdom

Brian

12. juli 2018 af wisemovement

Health, Learning and development, Mindset, Psychology, Wellness

Improve Your Body Image NOW

What do you feel when you look in the mirror? Gratitude? Acceptance? Contentment? Or disappointment and shame?

Poor body image is an issue that many of us struggle with. It doesn’t matter how many articles we read that tell us it’s what’s on the inside that counts; standing in front of a harshly-lit changing room mirror can make us feel defeated.

All of this leads to unrealistic expectations of what we should look like, dress like, and act like. As technology advances and we’re more connected than ever, it seems that self esteem — especially of millennials — declines. Recent studies show a definite link between social media usage and low self esteem. It’s way too easy to fall down a rabbit hole on Facebook or Instagram. You can be on your feed and next thing you know you’re on your ex-boyfriend’s sister’s best friend’s page wishing you had abs as great as hers.

Despite what we may believe, nobody’s perfect! Women and men in magazines are groomed, and photoshopped to match society’s preference. And let’s not forget that the “ideal body” changes constantly with the trends. Think about it. In the ‘90s, Kate Moss was the archetype of the “perfect woman” — fairy looking features and an extremely skinny figure. Did anyone think heroin-chic was healthy? Now, the tables have turned to favor “thick” women with generous curves, a la the Kardashian family. Following beauty fads can be exhausting and dangerous.

Comparing ourselves to others is the root of all evil when it comes to negative body image. Every single one of us is beautiful in our own way, and yet we are always looking at others and coveting something that they have and we don’t — or think we don’t have. We look at ourselves and think that we aren’t good enough the way we are. Why is it so hard to just accept ourselves?

Because body image, how we do and should look, envelops us.

Our first assessment of people is based on how they look. Advertising preys on self-doubt, encouraging us to perceive a problem (our body size, skin tone, dress sense) and then gratifyingly provides the solution (weight loss and muscle toning programs/equipment/food-like-substances, make-up/cleansing regimens/spa treatments/laser clinics… and clothes. Lots of clothes).

And we can be so cruel. To ourselves and to others, with a particular, special focus on women. It doesn’t matter if you’re fat, skinny, muscly, soft, hairy or bald… there is a brand of body shaming to fit your type.

Determine if you have a negative body image. You may already know if you have a negative body image, but there are some simple criteria that may help you if you are unsure. Ask yourself the following questions to determine if you have a negative body image:^[2]

Do you perceive your shape in an unrealistic way?
Do you think that only other people are attractive?
Do you think that your body size or shape is a sign of personal failure?
Do you feel ashamed, self-conscious, and anxious about your body?
Do you feel uncomfortable and awkward in your body?
If you answer yes to any of these questions, you may have a negative body image.

Culturally, we have this perverse notion that poor body image is a sign of modesty. It’s not. And people, especially women, who accept and appreciate the way they look can be perceived as narcissistic. They’re not.

Feeling badly about the way we look can be a devastating blow to our overall self-confidence, affecting multiple aspects of our lives. Which is why it is important to re-frame the way we view, think and talk about our bodies.

The following are 10 tips that helped me get over my body shame and start genuinely appreciating this life vessel I inhabit. None of them, I repeat, none of them, involve taking a mirror selfie in a bikini.

With 90 percent of collegiate women and 80 percent of collegiate men not liking what they see when they look in the mirror, you can probably imagine that I get asked the question: “How can I improve my body image?” on a fairly frequent basis. I do teach the Psychology of Eating, after all, and body image is a topic we cover extensively.

Here’s my answer: While there is no one way to improve your body image, a combination of any of the following may help:

and one more thing. Exercise regularly and eat healthily. Working out and setting goals can help you feel great both physically and mentally. A balanced diet is key, as well. That being said, you shouldn’t compulsively over-exercise or obsessively count calories. It’s tough to balance, but try to focus on the internal benefits of a healthy lifestyle rather than the external ones.

What you resist, you become. Fighting against yourself and loathing your body only stimulates more neurochemicals that keep you spinning your wheels. The exciting thing is: you can change. Change your mind, change your life. How? Make the decision to shift your thinking and your emotions will follow.

My final word on the matter is that positive self-image is a habit, not an attribute. I don’t always feel great about every aspect of the way I look, but if I’m feeling less than supremely confident, I pull my shoulders back, hold my head up and fake it ‘til I make it.

How do you feel about your body? Do you have any additional body-positive tips to share?

I can help you in this matter. Together we will kick ass.

Love, Health And Wisdom

Brian

11. juli 2018 af wisemovement

Learning and development, Mindset, Psychology

Are You Assertive?

Are you a human doormat? Do you say “yes” when you mean “no”? Do you keep your opinions to yourself for fear of upsetting or starting an argument with others?

Assertiveness is the ability to formulate and communicate one’s own thoughts, opinions and wishes in a clear, direct and non-aggressive way. This test determines whether a lack of assertiveness skills may be keeping you from fulfilling your potential and reaching your goals. Please examine the following statements and indicate how often or to what degree you agree with the statement.

Sometimes assertiveness gets a bad name because people confuse it with aggressiveness. But if there were a yardstick to measure human behavior, assertiveness would fall right in the middle, with passiveness at one end and aggressiveness at the other.

Here are some of the ways that passive, assertive and aggressive people are perceived by others:

Passive people:

Have trouble saying no.
Do whatever others ask, even if it’s very inconvenient.
Get “stepped on” a lot.
Talk softly and don’t stand up for their rights.
They’re not even sure if they have any rights.
Do anything to avoid conflict.
Are taken advantage of. They get resentful but don’t tell anyone.

Assertive people:

Are firm and direct.
Are deliberate
Don’t blame others but take full responsibility for their own feelings
Concentrate on the present.
Can express their needs and feelings calmly and easily.
Are confident about who they are.
Speak firmly and make eye contact.
Respect others’ rights and opinions, and expect the same in return.

Aggressive people:

Are loud, bossy and pushy.
Get their way, no matter what.
React instantly.
Like to get even.
Don’t care about feelings.
Give vice-like handshakes.
Believe that winning is everything.

Few of us are exactly in the middle of this yardstick, but all of us can benefit from consciously practicing assertive behavior. Very passive and very aggressive people often have an underlying lack of self-esteem. If you see yourself as usually at one extreme or the other, self-esteem may be an issue for you to explore further. Use the infographic to find out if you are assertive or not.

Love, Health And Wisdom

Brian

9. juli 2018 af wisemovement

Learning and development, Mindset, Psychology

View Of Life

Life is how you see it,

but you can always change the view.

Your outlook on life is a direct reflection of how much you like yourself.

This got me thinking about all of the variables that impact someone’s view on life. How we are raised, the area in which we live, good and bad relationships, money, careers, failures and successes; the list is very long. While there may be an infinite number of factors that go into this equation, I believe each of us is responsible for our outlook on life, and on whether or not we like ourselves.

Regardless of where you have been or where you are going, your outlook on life can change for the better if you allow it to. You can let go of insecurities and grow to like yourself, if you give yourself the chance. To this point, I have found there to be three essential components in the correlation between your outlook in life and how much you like yourself. Check out the equation below:

Perspective + Being in Control of Your Happiness – the little things that don’t matter = a more positive human being, both inside and out.

Perspective

A powerful word that is easily overlooked. A quick query on Google defines perspective as “a particular attitude toward or way of regarding something; a point of view.” Point of view, stance and outlook are just a few of the synonyms associated with this word.

Perspective has been on my mind a lot lately. I believe perspective separates the winners from the losers – not just in sport but in life itself. Varying degrees of perspective separate the optimist from the pessimist from the realist. Perspective separates life and death.

Your outlook, your point of view, your perspective on life is a direct reflection of how much you like yourself. If you have ever spent time with someone who passes more hours talking about how bad things are or how terrible their job is or who in general, is just a negative individual, then you probably know someone who doesn’t like themselves very much.

I have friends swinging at some of the toughest curve balls life can throw and you would never know. These people find the good in the bad. They believe in something higher; something better for their lives and refuse to let anything get in the way of that. Individuals like this know who they are inside, are secure in that person and let it show outwardly.

There are others who have it better than good but let pettiness prevail. People like this obsess over the little things that eventually take over their lives. You see it when they speak, in their body language and in their outlook on life. Sometimes you find yourself wondering what will happen when life throws them a curveball – one much faster, deceptive, and challenging to hit than the slow pitch they’re at bat with now.

We keep ourselves busy with little things because we can handle them. But if our lives are built around these things, then we don’t allow ourselves time with the big things; we give ourselves no time for the most important questions life asks us.

You Are In Control Of Your Own Happiness

Repeat after me:

I am in control of my own happiness. I am in control of my own happiness. I am in control of my own happiness.

It is not your parent’s job, it is not your friend’s job or your dog’s job to bring you the happiness you so badly want. These people (and animals) cannot possibly understand everything you truly need to be happy. They may think they do, but they don’t. Only you do. And only you can find it.

Those who don’t rely on others for their main source of happiness are often, much happier. People who like themselves are happy with themselves. Your outlook on life is a direct reflection of how much you like yourself. Those of us who find our outlook on life grim, amongst other factors, rely on others to provide a main source of happiness. Unfortunately, if this is your case, you will always be let down.

People are imperfect, unreliable, moody, mean and the list goes on. The security you need so badly in your life won’t come from your best friend or even your girlfriend – it comes from within.

Those of us with a positive outlook on life found a unique and true happiness that is authentic and raw. Only I can have my happiness and only you can have yours.

Putting The Equation Together

When you let go of needing others to provide something for which they are not capable of, you begin the journey of finding your own happiness. Finding true happiness brings security in one’s self. The combination contributes to how much you like yourself and ultimately, your outlook on life itself.

What makes perspective so unique is that a slight shift can give us a refreshed image. A few degrees of change can help us find and be exactly who and what we are looking for.

The Way You Look At Life Has A Lot To Do With The Way You See Yourself

Love, Health And Wisdom

Brian

8. juli 2018 af wisemovement