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Health, Learning and development, Meditation, Mindset, Psychology, Wellness

Brain Benefits From Meditation

50 years of scientific research has unearthed a whole bunch of evidence of all the different life changing meditation benefits. Below I give you 15 ways meditating regularly has been shown to significantly improve your brain function and mood. But before reading them, follow the link and listen to some wise words about what happens in your brain during and after meditation. See you soon.

 https://www.gaia.com/video/your-brain-meditation-joe-dispenza?fullplayer=preview

1. You get fluent at making good decisions.

If you’re stressed out often, you’ve probably had those moments in your life where you made bad decisions as a result. Whether it’s details you missed for an important project or a big mistake you made that negatively affected other people, you know what it’s like when you’re not at your best.

What’s being impaired in moments like this is a skill called executive function.[1] Simply put, executive function is the part of your brain that helps you get results for goals you are trying to achieve. It’s what helps you do things like manage your time, pay attention, plan, organize and remember details.

Studies have shown compelling evidence that it helps people who have impaired executive functioning skills from conditions such as Attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD).[2] A study run by Dr. Lidia Zylowska showed 78% of adult participants with ADHD experienced a reduction of overall ADHD symptoms when they regularly used meditation practices.[3]

2. You become an expert at handling stress.

Moments of stress triggers your amygdala, also known as your “lizard brain”. It’s the primal part of your brain which is associated with fear and emotion and its primary function is to help you survive.

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High levels of stress can make you enter into lizard brain mode where it is dominated by the amygdala. It can be described when one “flips his lid” and is controlled by overwhelming emotion such as fear or anger. Think about it as times you’ve been in a heated argument or deathly afraid of something that might hurt you.

When you are in this mode, other important parts of your brain like the pre-frontal cortex, which is the part of your brain that is capable of higher level thinking such as decision-making, self-awareness, empathy and morality, are turned off

Because the amygdala isn’t as great at logical thinking for the less straightforward situations of daily life, meditation can help decrease your stress levels by first getting you out of your lizard brain and back to being in the present moment, which then empowers you to respond to stress in a much better way.

For example, you might be in lizard brain mode thinking all the time about how to survive by making more money, but through meditation, you connect with what’s most important despite all the stress. You realize before it’s too late that you’ve been ignoring the more important things like connecting with your kids and maintaining intimacy with your spouse.

MRI scans have shown that after an eight-week course of mindfulness practice, the amygdala appears to shrink. And as the amygdala shrinks, the pre-frontal cortex becomes thicker.[4]

Basically, science has shown that meditation can help you become better at handling your stress by activating the part of your brain that makes better decisions.

3. You naturally remember useful information.

Imagine a time where you told yourself a list of items you wanted to buy at the grocery store without physically writing it down. By the time you get to the store, you’ve forgotten what some of those items were.

This is when your working memory capacity has fallen short. You use your working memory when you need to place a sticky note in your mind so that you can use it in the near future. The problem is sometimes those sticky notes fall off by the time you need it.

If your working memory is the information that goes on these mental sticky notes, then your working memory capacity is how long you can have these sticky notes stay on before it falls off. The longer time you have to hold information, the more time you have for reasoning and comprehension to occur.

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Meditation has been shown to improve your working memory capacity.

One study had about 200 teenagers assigned to either a mindfulness meditation practice, yoga, or were wait-listed as a control group.[5] Results showed that the teenagers participating in the meditation group had significantly better working memory capacity than those participating in the other groups.

4. You become an amazing smooth talker.

If you’ve ever had a time when you were talking with someone and you had trouble finding the right words to express what you were trying to say, you’ve had a moment where your verbal fluency wasn’t at it’s best.

​Verbal fluency as defined by verbal skill expert, Min Liu, is the “ability to find the right words at the right time or in the right situation.”[6]

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When sixty-three University of North Carolina, Charlotte students with no meditation experience volunteered for an experiment that studied the effects of meditation on their verbal fluency, results showed that there was a significant improvement in verbal fluency in those who engaged in mindfulness meditation versus those who did not.[7]And to add to these impressive results, the group who meditated only did it for 20 minutes a day over four day period.

5. You develop laser-like focus.

With all the information at our fingertips in this digital age, it’s easy to get distracted. We are exposed to an average of 10,000 marketing advertisements a day and it’s hard to discern what the important things we should focus on are. The artificial A.D.D. culture we’ve created has made us have significantly shorter attention spans due to information overload.

Taking as little as 20 minutes a day for five days to engage in meditate has improved one’s attention, which shows the power of simply making a subtle shift and spending a tiny fraction of your day simply being present.[8]

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6. You superpower your brain.

All the signature folds you see on the outer surface on the brain that look like windy roads have been formed to help increase the speed of brain cell communication. The formation of these folds is known as gyrification. Since your brain doesn’t have any space inside your skull to get bigger, it undergoes gyrification to increase the capacity of your brain function.

Long-term meditators have been shown to have a larger amount of gyrifcation compared to those who don’t practice meditation.[9] More interestingly, a direct correlation was found between the amount of gyrification and the number of meditation years, which is proof of the capability of our brain to continue growing even as adults.

This means the more you meditate, the faster and more efficient your brain becomes at processing information, which can be especially useful in moments where you need to think fast.

7. You are better at problem solving.

When your brain is solving a challenging problem, it requires the skill to focus attention on what’s most important amongst a large amount of information.

A simple example of your brain at work engaging in such conflict resolution is when you’re at a loud party talking to a friend. If your brain didn’t detect and resolve all the conflicting stimulation around you by helping you ignore all the noise around you and focus on your friend, you’d probably have a sensory overload.

The same principal applies when you run into larger conflict resolution challenges. You need to be able to determine what’s most important and focus your attention on it.

Multiple studies have shown that participants in groups who partook in meditation practices had performed higher on evaluations that tested conflict resolution skills compared to groups that didn’t.[10]

This goes to show why those who meditate generally have a lower stress level. Their brains are more adept at conflict resolution.

8. Your creativity starts to flourish.

The Harvard Business Review has conducted experiments that have shown that 10-12 minutes of mindful meditation practices were enough to boost creativity.[11] The majority of participants who were part of the meditation arm of the study reported that it helped them “clear their minds, focus more on the task at hand, and come up with original solutions.”

Mindfulness meditation gets ideas flowing directly to your neocortex, which is where all of your creative thinking takes place. It’s no surprise why some of the most leading companies have introduced meditation in the workplace as a result:[12]

“The Walt Disney Company was an early adopter of meditation in the workplace, as they noticed a dramatic increase in creativity after employees meditated on creative solutions. General Mills is another company which reports improved innovation as a result of sitting in stillness and has meditation rooms available to their staff. Google has an in house mindfulness program called ‘Search inside Yourself’ and has built a labyrinth for mindful walking meditations.”

9. You kill your anxiety and experience more peace.

About 6.8 million Americans suffer from General Anxiety Disorder (GAD) and even if you’re not one of them, chances are you at least worry about something on most days.

When worrying becomes a normal part of your daily life, it can take its toll on you and you find yourself losing sleep, being tense and have a racing mind that won’t sit still.

Meditation has been long established as an antidote for anxiety. Researchers at Wake Forest Baptist recruited fifteen healthy volunteers with normal levels of everyday anxiety to test out this theory.[13] The participants had no previous meditation experience. After engaging in four 20-minute mindfulness meditation classes, it was reported that anxiety was noticeably reduced in every session that they meditated.

The brain imaging scans taken of these individual revealed that meditation was providing anxiety relief by activating the anterior cingulate cortex which is one part of the brain that helps with the control of worry. Scans also revealed decreases in the grey matter of the amygdala which is the part of the brain that plays an important role in anxiety and stress.

10. Your brain stays young forever.

Most of the neurons in your brain are contained within a portion known as grey matter. It’s within the grey matter where essential things such as memory, emotions, speech, decision making, and self-control take place.

After you reach 30-years-old, your brain begins to slowly shrink.[14] But evidence shows that those who keep their brain in shape by engaging in regular meditation practices can prevent the shrinking altogether.

One study from UCLA showed that in long-term meditators, age-related grey matter loss was less pronounced compared to those who didn’t meditate.[15] Brain scans of the participants who had been meditating for an average of 20 years even showed more grey matter volume throughout their brain than expected.

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11. You become great at adapting to changes.

Cognitive flexibility is the vital function that’s been described as the ability to adapt behaviors in response to changes occurred in the environment.

Imagine if you started to live in a new country, your level of cognitive flexibility will determine how fast you can adjust to all the changes to your environment such as having the steering wheel on the opposite side of the car, learning the local language and figuring out the nuances of the new culture.

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Meditators performed significantly better than non-meditators as examined in a study which brought participants through exercises that tested cognitive flexibility.[16] The study indicated that mindfulness is closely linked to improvements to cognitive flexibility.

So if you’re ever having trouble adjusting to a new situation, maybe a little meditation will solve your problem.

12. You begin to win your battle with the blues.

A research review published in the Journal of the American Medical Association (JAMA) of Internal Medicine in January 2014 showed meditation was about as effective as an antidepressant.[17]

Another study on mindfulness meditation published by psychologists from the University of Exeter found it to be better than drugs or counseling for depression.[18]They found that after four months of meditating, about 75% of patients felt well enough to stop taking antidepressants.

Even if you aren’t suffering from clinical depression, meditation will uplift your mood if you’re feeling down.

13. You grow stronger and experience less pain.

Mindfulness meditation has been shown in clinical trials to reduce chronic pain by 57 percent and that seasoned meditators can reduce it by over 90 percent.[19] Brain scan studies show that meditation can physically alter the structure of the brain so that it no longer feels pain at the same level of intensity.

Hospital pain clinics now prescribe mindfulness meditation to help patients suffering from all kinds of diseases such as cancer, arthritis and heart disease.

Just like many other studies researching meditation benefits, you can see the results of meditation within a short time frame even if you’ve never done it before.

Wake Forest University conducted a study that took 15 healthy participants and performed brain scans while inducing pain. A certified instructor took them through mindfulness meditation over the next four days and by the fifth day, there was about a 40 percent reduction in pain intensity ratings while they were meditating compared to when they weren’t.[20]

14. Your ability of self-control goes up another level.

If you’ve ever found yourself giving into the temptations of eating that tub of ice cream when you’re on diet or lighting up that cigarette when you’re trying to quit, meditation might be the exact thing you need to give you that extra push of self-control.

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In fact, meditation can even help people recover from various types of addictions. Meditation activates the anterior cingulate and prefrontal cortex which are the parts of your brain related to self-control.

One study showed that smokers who were assigned to do 5 hours of meditation spread over two weeks showed a 60% reduction in smoking compared to the smokers who didn’t meditate.[21]

15. You gain an overall sense of happiness up another level.

If you’ve ever experienced the pleasurable experience of the “runners high,” then you know what it feels like to have a release of endorphins in your brain. While endorphins are neurotransmitters that your body uses as a natural painkiller, it’s also responsible for the overall sense of happiness you sometimes feel.

When a study compared 11 elite runners and 12 highly trained meditators, results showed that both groups had noticeably elevated levels of endorphins after running and meditation. More interestingly, the pleasurable effects of endorphin release were measured in these groups and the meditation group scored higher.[22]

The easiest way to start meditating

On top of all these amazing meditation benefits, meditation is easy to do and you can actually do it right now.

Here’s a very straightforward and simple step-by step instructions that you can immediately implement to start experiencing the benefits of meditation:

  1. Set aside 5-10 minutes
  2. Find a safe space with little distractions.
  3. Sit comfortably in a chair or on the floor with your back straight.
  4. Take a few deep breaths in through your nose and out through your mouth
  5. Close your eyes or focus your gaze on the object you’ve chosen.
  6. Breathe normally and gently bring your focus to the breath.
  7. If your mind wanders, gently steer it back to focus on the breath.
  8. When finished, just take a moment to let the effects of your meditation feeling sink in before going about your day.

If you want some more live guidance or would love to learn more about meditation, Headspace is an amazing app that I use regularly. They do an amazing job of explaining what meditation is and walk you through how to do it even if you’re totally new to the concept.

The road to your best self

The ultimate solution to being happier in life isn’t to try and make things easier, but to make yourself stronger. Meditation will develop the mental strength you need and lift your mood.

Imagine yourself starting your day feeling ready and prepared to take on what comes. Stress keeps knocking on your door but you let it right in and send it right back on its way out.

You’re able to stay focused on what matters to you most and you feel intimately connected with yourself again. You feel like you’re in your prime. You’re no longer a mindless zombie who’s going through life in a daze. You’re finally living instead of just existing.

So take a moment, practice being present and soak it all in. You’ve now just figured out how to keep your life beautiful.

 

Love, Health And Wisdom

Brian

 

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Health, Learning and development, Mindset, Psychology, Wellness

The Divine Energy Within

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The Divine Self, or the Higher Self, as it is also known, is a belief held by Hindus and New Age thought alike. According to these beliefs, the Divine Self is the Self that exists at an even higher level than the soul; it is in every person ever born. It is the essence the Universe that dwells in your being, the source of all light and life within you, and your true motivation for living. The divine self is what powers you and makes you wonder. It is the soul light at your core that chose to be incarnate at this point in time. It’s ever-aware and has been thinking since you began existing in this lifetime, and since your birth in other lifetimes. The body and the physical realm, in which we dwell, are thought to be but a vehicle for the higher self.

In the same beliefs, the soul is closer to the personality, and is an intermediary between the person and her Divine Self until such time as she is able to directly experience and realize the Divine Self as who she is.

Vibrational Energy - Gerelateerde afbeelding #HealingMeditation #ChakraHealing #MeditationHealth My long term illness is finally going away, and I think I might have found the love of my life.

 

HOW TO CONTACT YOUR DIVINE SELF

If you’re interested in opening up to your Divine Self, the practice promises guidance, peace, harmony, and illuminating light through its higher knowledge. Believers also claim that you can more easily turn away from the distractions of the physical world, and restore yourself in the light, love, and power of this eternal Self, because it will reveal the illusions, desires, and attachments that keep you trapped in a lower vibration and on a lesser path, thus enabling you to find your higher path. You are also supposed to gain a greater ability to recognize limiting, disharmonious, and restricting energies and forms.

The Divine Self is always trying to reach you, to send you the power, illumination, love, and wisdom to draw higher forms, thoughts, feelings, and situations into your life. The Divine Self is wise; it knows all, and is always showing you an easier, better, more joyful way to live.

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Because of these things, it’s not a huge struggle through your willpower to contact your Divine Self. All you need do is set your intention and open to all the gifts of consciousness that await you as you connect with this Self.

1. SIT QUIETLY

Find a calm, quiet spot to spend some time in. Set your intention to make contact with your Divine Self, to open to It and to receive Its energy, love, inspiration, and all the transformation, awareness, and gifts of consciousness It is always offering you. Silence is a vital factor in this process, as the connection with the Divine Self goes beyond the mind, and you should rid yourself of as many distractions as possible. Because of this, though, you may not feel you have made contact, but don’t feel discouraged! Your intention to connect with your Divine Self and your receptivity to It are all that are needed to make this connection and to receive Its guidance, energy, and inspiration. It always responds to your call.

2. LET YOUR THOUGHTS GO

Release any thoughts swimming around in your mind, and imagine that you are infinite intelligence, unconditional love, and all knowing wisdom, looking out through your eyes. Sense the “I” within you that is always present, that which is pure awareness.

Bring your mind to a state of inner stillness, with nothing to do or think about, even if just for a moment. Let go of any thoughts about the outer world and go within, asking for your Divine Self to draw you into Itself. You can make the connection to your Divine Self even stronger by having the intention to release any thoughts or beliefs that may be an obstacle to contacting your Divine Self or to receiving its gifts.

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3. SPEAK TO THE DIVINE SELF

If you want to try, ask for guidance, an insight, or an answer as you enter into the silence. You can do this out loud or just in your mind. It is in moments of silence that the Divine Self can impart to you as much of its wisdom, power, and love that you can receive. Notice what new thoughts you have after these moments of silence, calling upon your Divine Self. Doing this brings more power, love, wisdom, guidance, abundance, and spiritual vision.

4. BE RECEPTIVE

Afterward, you may receive an inner message that may feel like you giving yourself a message, which is totally normal. Contact may come through a sense of energy, peace, an inner knowing, an answer, a deeper breath, or in many other ways. It is fine if you do not have any response you can feel or identify; know that contact has been made simply through your intention to make contact. With this, some insight, extra energy, or inspiration has been imparted to you that will unfold at the perfect time.

You don’t have to spend a lot of time doing this meditation; in fact it is very effective to have frequent ten or twenty second meditation periods during the day. Even pausing briefly during a busy day to get quiet and ask for energy or guidance is a wonderful way to deepen contact with your Divine Self.

 

Love, Health And Wisdom

Brian

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Learning and development, Mindset, Psychology, Quotes for life

Life Lessons

1. Life isn’t short if you don’t live it that way.

Your life can be very long and adventurous if you choose so. Surround yourself with people, and even animals, that you can enjoy every moment with.

2. Adaptation will come with the changes you make.

“You’re resilient, dear, you’ll learn to accept change as you grow.” This quote always comes to mind when I come across a difficult situation.

“Small things and big things will seem like milestones.

3. Enjoy the world around you.

Mobility and independence in this great big world is something to be cherished and appreciated. Travel often and enjoy the little things when you do.

4. Your life is all yours.

“Stop worrying about what others think and live your damn life!” An analogy I came up with on my own, which they all agreed on, is that if you order tomatoes on a sandwich and someone tells you that they don’t like tomatoes, would you take them off?

5. Stay off your high horse.

Be humble. The residents always reminded me that you don’t know what others are going through and that nobody is more important than someone else.

“If you go around acting like a queen, those around you won’t bow down to you. Don’t expect much.”

6. Be mature but learn when to lighten up.

The happiest residents were those that found humor in the little things.

One lady that I always had a good laugh with was in a wheelchair, couldn’t move both of her legs and one of her arms. Her one good arm was so shaky that she had to have some assist her at meal times. She always cracked jokes and would talk to you about anything.

She told me once,”You have to find humor here or else you’ll be so depressed that you’ll lose your noodle.” She stressed also to be mature when need be, otherwise, you’ll look like a fool.

7. Don’t take everything to heart.

Negative moments with some of the residents would hurt my feelings. I couldn’t take everything personally though. They didn’t like the circumstances they were in. You never know what someone is going through so if it looks like someone is having a bad day and they snap at you, walk away. It doesn’t make them a bad person, just means they’re having a rough time.

8. Never lose compassion.

“You’re a sweet girl. Don’t lose that. You’ll be sorry if you do.” It’s always important to sympathize with others and try to put yourselves in their shoes. Be positive and treat others with kindness. “Kill them with kindness. Just because they’re being nasty doesn’t mean that you have to be.”

 

RON LESLIE:

Steps to find fulfilling work:

  1. Take the initiative to investigate the places you think are of interest. Ask good questions.
  2. Go with the self-assurance of having written on an index card each of your past accomplishments(including where you simply helped other people do their thing) in three forms:
    1. A simple phrase; e.g., “top salesman in New York office for three years”
    2. A three-sentence statement of the problem, your solution, and the result
    3. A one-page explanation or anecdote to share if asked to give details
  3. Use those cards deftly to encourage people to talk to you — showing you listen on their level and understand whatever they tell you. Remember: The more they talk, the smarter they’ll think you are.

RALPH LINSALATA:

  • Tell your spouse and children that you love them every day, no matter how you feel.
  • Do not bring your problems home with you.
  • Realize the joy that comes from helping your spouse and children excel in their fields of interest and enjoy themselves.
  • Develop within your family a sense of obligation to help others.
  • Spending quality time with your family — not just time — is critical.
  • Choose a spouse who will understand and support you, and one for whom you will do the same. Life is much better if you can help each other grow and expand your knowledge, experiences, friends, and capabilities.

DONALD P. NIELSEN:

  • Not all decisions turn out well. Be prepared to deal with problems over which you have no control.
  • Almost everything will require more money and more time than you think.
  • Never settle for “good enough.” Always strive for excellence.
  • Set high expectations for yourself and those with whom you work.
  • Move quickly to deal with people issues.
  • Hiring smart, driven people is a ticket to your own success.

WARREN BATTS:

I was born in 1932 and grew up during the Depression. In the beginning, poverty was the level to which I aspired. When I reached it, my next goal was to get out of debt. That took several years. Then my goal was to become financially independent. After reaching independence, more money was not a great motivator for me. My interest became trying to make a difference — making the company I worked for successful, and working for my church and other volunteer organizations.

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ANONYMOUS:

Retire to something — not from something. Stay engaged. Be physically active and intellectually curious.

 

Love, Health And Wisdom

Brian

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Mindset, Psychology

To Be Attractive

Attraction isn’t only about looks. It’s about a certain primal magnetism. Of course, we can be physically attracted to someone, but we are more often drawn to their confidence, passion and personality. Being attractive is about more than just appearance. In fact:

Attractiveness is the basis of all human relationships. 

Not only is attraction the basis of finding a romantic partner, but we are also attracted to work with certain people. We are attracted to certain friendships. We are even attracted to certain coffee shops because we like their vibe, their menu or their location. Attractiveness is an essential part of understanding what motivates people.

If you want to make people want you, if you want to be attractive, if you want to understand people, you need to learn:

The Rules of Attraction

the call family

and

how to be interesting

New York Times best-selling author and developmental molecular biologist, John Medina discovered that the brain has a very short attention span. Our brains are attracted to intriguing, interesting, engaging people and things. Luckily, you are an intriguing, interesting, engaging person!

You also have to be aware of your body language. You can use body language to show availability and increase your attractiveness in interactions.

  • Open Torso:  Body language research has shown that keeping your torso, chest and abdomen open to the world is best way to show availability. Crossed arms, clutching a wine glass in front of your stomach, checking a phone in front of your chest or hugging a purse to your center are all ways we close our body language and seem unavailable. Studies have shown that we actually close our body language when we are feeling mentally closed off.
  • Hands: We love to see people’s hands. Studies have found that when we can’t see people’s hands we have trouble trusting them. When you put your hands in your pockets, tuck them under the table or hide them behind a coat, you’re attractiveness decreases because people can’t open up to you.

QUEEN of beauty Audrey Hepburn's tips, she is definitely my idol

 

Love, Health And Wisdom

Brian

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Health, Healthy food, Meditation, Mindset, Physical activity, Wellness

WiseMovement Health and training day 1

Hi there. Time for action.

You are responsible for your health, so do good things for yourself.

I hope I can inspire you with this ordinary day in my life. This is what I do every morning except point 6 – 8. You have to have variaty in your training to train different kind of things in your body and also break patterns that will easily accur in each and every ones lives.

  1. A liter of water with fresh squeezhed lemon and ginger.
  2. 5 min. Morning meditation
  3. 5 min. stretch series
  4. A handfull of almonds, a handfull of hazelnuts, a handfull of walnuts, 2 fresh dates, a banana, a half avocado, two cups of fresh filtered coffee.
  5. 20 min. of mental and outfit preparation
  6. 5 min. sandbag warm up
  7. 1 km warm up run.
  8.  4 x WiseMovement Circle Crossfit series after 1 km run in between.
  9. 20 min. of stretch in every used muscle.
  10. Breakfast: Broccoli, Kale, garlic, onions, fish cake and blackcurrant, tomatoes, cherries, raspberries, strawberries, blueberries, rosemary, spearmint, and basil from my garden and a liter of water.

Sorry about the headless guy ;o). But it is not headless meditation. Focus on deep breathing and the same time feeling Mother Earth below you.

Stretching is very good for your body in the morning.

The last stretching exercise “pick apples” is in the right place ;o)

The next video is warm up with the sandbag. You must have a sandbag. It is just perfect training.

Now I am ready for the 1 km warm up before I begin the very hard training of WiseMovement Circle Crossfit series as you can see below.

After each of these stations I run 1 km with different kinds of run. Backwards, sidewards with armswing and crossing legs, high speed, low speed and up and down stairs. Then I am ready to do the circle crossfit again. This I will do four times this day.

After this it is time for the muscle stretching and 1 km slow run home for the breakfast. Well earned…..don´t you think ;o).

I wish you the best training. See you soon. More healthy :o).

 

Love, Health And Wisdom

Brian

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Learning and development, Mindset

Rules of a Gentleman

The Age of the Gentleman — that semi-imaginary time we all have in our heads where men you actually wanted to sleep with wore fedoras and treated ladies like ladies — might be over, but there’s no reason it can’t come back again. I certainly should. We just need to set up a few ground rules for being a modern Cary Grant/Paul Newman/Ken Cosgrove. We’ll all be drinking scotch and wearing linen suits again in no time.

Being a gentleman is more about than just acts of chivalry. The truth is, it’s about dealing directly with man’s greatest burden, his unfilled potential.

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If you become obsessed with being the most courteous man in the world, you’ll end up in one place:

A life of quiet desperation.

The reality is, you need a war plan that’s ethical, moral and honest. For most, accepting the truth isn’t easy.

A great deal of the rules for being a gentleman in today’s times are written for the weak minded males.

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Any man of decent character already knows how to treat a woman and the simplest rules of common courtesy. These choices all come to us naturally. A gentleman doesn’t need a reminder to do the right thing; he walks tall, sure of both his words and actions.

While every male is born a man, being a successful gentleman is not for everyone.

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Regardless of whether you are picking up a man or a woman, you do so with tact, confidence and humility. You do not treat people as commodity to be conquered, but as souls to be loved.

Rules of a gentleman - Euroman

Some girls like them bad, some like them nerdy. However, there is one breed of a man that will forever have a soft spot in the hearts of ladies: the gentleman. True gentlemen, as some ladies lament, are a dying breed. While it was once the gold standard of being a true man, the art of being a gentleman is slowly fading from the modern guy’s consciousness. Finding a real man, then, is a rare treat.

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Now, before you go out and ride on a thoroughbred stallion like some period drama character, the ways of a true gentleman actually differ from what Hollywood tropes suggest. Nope, you don’t need to dress like a dandy and sport a phony British accent, like you came straight from a Jane Austen novel. Being a gentleman is something you must strive for and should not be treated like an act, where you can go on and off character.

 

Love, Health And Wisdom

Brian

 

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Health, Learning and development, Mindset, Psychology, Wellness

Improve Your Body Image NOW

What do you feel when you look in the mirror? Gratitude? Acceptance? Contentment? Or disappointment and shame?

Poor body image is an issue that many of us struggle with. It doesn’t matter how many articles we read that tell us it’s what’s on the inside that counts; standing in front of a harshly-lit changing room mirror can make us feel defeated.

All of this leads to unrealistic expectations of what we should look like, dress like, and act like. As technology advances and we’re more connected than ever, it seems that self esteem — especially of millennials — declines. Recent studies show a definite link between social media usage and low self esteem. It’s way too easy to fall down a rabbit hole on Facebook or Instagram. You can be on your feed and next thing you know you’re on your ex-boyfriend’s sister’s best friend’s page wishing you had abs as great as hers.

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Despite what we may believe, nobody’s perfect! Women and men in magazines are groomed, and photoshopped to match society’s preference. And let’s not forget that the “ideal body” changes constantly with the trends. Think about it. In the ‘90s, Kate Moss was the archetype of the “perfect woman” — fairy looking features and an extremely skinny figure. Did anyone think heroin-chic was healthy? Now, the tables have turned to favor “thick” women with generous curves, a la the Kardashian family. Following beauty fads can be exhausting and dangerous.

Comparing ourselves to others is the root of all evil when it comes to negative body image. Every single one of us is beautiful in our own way, and yet we are always looking at others and coveting something that they have and we don’t — or think we don’t have. We look at ourselves and think that we aren’t good enough the way we are. Why is it so hard to just accept ourselves?

Because body image, how we do and should look, envelops us.

Our first assessment of people is based on how they look. Advertising preys on self-doubt, encouraging us to perceive a problem (our body size, skin tone, dress sense) and then gratifyingly provides the solution (weight loss and muscle toning programs/equipment/food-like-substances, make-up/cleansing regimens/spa treatments/laser clinics… and clothes. Lots of clothes).

And we can be so cruel. To ourselves and to others, with a particular, special focus on women. It doesn’t matter if you’re fat, skinny, muscly, soft, hairy or bald… there is a brand of body shaming to fit your type.

Determine if you have a negative body image. You may already know if you have a negative body image, but there are some simple criteria that may help you if you are unsure. Ask yourself the following questions to determine if you have a negative body image:[2]

  • Do you perceive your shape in an unrealistic way?
  • Do you think that only other people are attractive?
  • Do you think that your body size or shape is a sign of personal failure?
  • Do you feel ashamed, self-conscious, and anxious about your body?
  • Do you feel uncomfortable and awkward in your body?
  • If you answer yes to any of these questions, you may have a negative body image.

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Culturally, we have this perverse notion that poor body image is a sign of modesty. It’s not. And people, especially women, who accept and appreciate the way they look can be perceived as narcissistic. They’re not.

Feeling badly about the way we look can be a devastating blow to our overall self-confidence, affecting multiple aspects of our lives. Which is why it is important to re-frame the way we view, think and talk about our bodies.

The following are 10 tips that helped me get over my body shame and start genuinely appreciating this life vessel I inhabit. None of them, I repeat, none of them, involve taking a mirror selfie in a bikini.

With 90 percent of collegiate women and 80 percent of collegiate men not liking what they see when they look in the mirror, you can probably imagine that I get asked the question: “How can I improve my body image?” on a fairly frequent basis. I do teach the Psychology of Eating, after all, and body image is a topic we cover extensively.

Here’s my answer: While there is no one way to improve your body image, a combination of any of the following may help:

and one more thing. Exercise regularly and eat healthily. Working out and setting goals can help you feel great both physically and mentally. A balanced diet is key, as well. That being said, you shouldn’t compulsively over-exercise or obsessively count calories. It’s tough to balance, but try to focus on the internal benefits of a healthy lifestyle rather than the external ones.

What you resist, you become. Fighting against yourself and loathing your body only stimulates more neurochemicals that keep you spinning your wheels. The exciting thing is: you can change. Change your mind, change your life. How? Make the decision to shift your thinking and your emotions will follow.

My final word on the matter is that positive self-image is a habit, not an attribute. I don’t always feel great about every aspect of the way I look, but if I’m feeling less than supremely confident, I pull my shoulders back, hold my head up and fake it ‘til I make it.

How do you feel about your body? Do you have any additional body-positive tips to share?

I can help you in this matter. Together we will kick ass.

Cetrine Boes' billede.

 

Love, Health And Wisdom

Brian

 

 

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