Love is the answer

for human kind

it is there

you shall find

“When Love Comes to Town” is a song by Irish rock band U2 featuring blues guitarist B. B. King. It is the twelfth track from U2’s 1988 album, Rattle and Hum, and was released in 1989 as the record’s third single. The song was recorded at the historic Sun Studio in Memphis. “When Love Comes to Town” reached number one in the Irish Singles Chart, number six in the UK singles chart, number ten in the Dutch Top 40 and number two in the US Mainstream Rock Tracks chart.

Life is simple with hacks, they get us through the day. We keep searching the internet trying to find new hacks to add to our arsenal. We have a couple that you can add up your sleeve. You can thank us later after you read these Psychological Hacks, that are mind blowing. Let’s get started.

And some practical ones in between…….

1. If you ask someone a question and they give a short response; Just wait, keep quiet and remain eye contact. They will usually pick up where they off from.

2. Ever in your group of friends and you all share a laugh? And then you catch yourself looking at the person you’re closest to? That ‘s because people by their instinct look at the person they’re closest to.

3. If you make yourself joyful, and excited to see someone, they will return the vibe. Maybe not the first time, but the next for sure.

4. If you get nervous from public speaking or get butterflies before a roller coaster, try chewing some gum. If you’re eating something, it tricks our brain to think “I am not in danger because I wouldn’t be eating right now.”

5. If you’re joining a conversation, look at the person’s feet. If they don’t turn their feet and just turn their torsos, they don’t want you to join in. In the same way, if talking to a coworker, and you think they’re invested in the conversation. If their torso is turned towards you and not their feet, they probably want it to end.

6.If someone is angry at you, just stay calm, it’ll tick them off more, and they’ll ashamed about it after.

7. Take someone on a first date that gets their heart pumping. For example like a roller coaster or a horror movie. This spikes their adrenaline, and tricking them they enjoy spending time with you, but it was probably an adrenaline high from the activity.

8.People will remember you not by your words, but how you made them feel. Also, people love talking about themselves, so just ask lots of question about them.

9. Always tell the truth. when you have to tell a lie, people are more likely to believe you.

10. If you smile big, you’ll instantly feel happier. Just don’t do it while staring at people. You’ll likely come off of as creep.

11.When you just meet someone, refer them by their name, people love hearing their name. It will build up trust, and a friendship right away. If your friend introduces to his friend Mike, when it time to say bye, don’t say just bye, but instead say “Bye Mike”.

12.If you’re learning a new language or something of that assert. Try to teach a friend, by teaching something you’ll understand it much better.

13. Most guys in a fist fight will try to end it with right hook instinctively.

14. If you want really want something for someone, disguise it as an offer than a request.

Did you know when Teddy Roosevelt was running for president, his campaign team printed out 3 million leaflets with a picture of a Teddy. His team realize that they didn’t retain the rights for the photo. They twisted around as an offer for the photographer by saying the studio will pay 250 for the rights for the photo, and you get a lot of publicity throw the campaign in return. If they had explained their problem. The photographer will have a lot more leverage, and will probably ask for a lot more money.

15. People are extremely in tune with their sense of touch. If someone mistakenly rest their knee on yours, they might pretend it didn’t happen, but they knew it was there the whole time.

16. When you have you have an interview, ask your interviewer as many questions as you can. Ask them about what they do for work, really listen to them. They will walk away from the interview feeling like a million bucks because they got a chance to talk about themselves. They will think the interview went well. It’s a psychological thing.

17. Your chances increase for success in a relationship if your parents and your friends get along with your special someone.

18. Jokes tend to be less funny when it have to be said again. Well, use it to your advantage when a jerk makes a joke at your expense. Play deaf, make them repeat it, by the third time the joke will hearing crickets.

19. You can judge a person characteristics by seeing how they treat people who they don’t know.

Source: MensXP

The one above is just for fun…….;o), but the last one below is one of my favorites.

Love, Health And Wisdom

Brian

Kill With Kindness:

If you are in the midst of a battle with a rude customer or just anyone in general, do not stoop down to their level. Treat them extra nice – sugar coats it, baby. If you are being extra kind to someone who is obviously pissed, it should make them feel even angrier, and then push them to realize how ridiculous they are being. In the end, you’ll end up winning and they should be apologizing.

Silence Is Golden:

When you’re in an argument, make your case, then don’t say anything else. People get uncomfortable with silence and many times will end up caving just to get away from the awkward silence.

Mirror Introspection:

If you place a mirror facing the angry customer or person, they tend to act more rational. Although I wouldn’t recommend whipping out a pocket mirror every time someone is upset at you with a minuscule thing.

 Keep Your Enemies Closer:

We’ve all heard the say, “Keep your friends close, and your enemies closer.” And for good reasons too. Say if you’re heading into a meeting, knowing you’re going to be hassled for something, sit next to that particular person. This takes away the distance between you and the perpetrator and can make them feel uncomfortable. The encounter will become more personal when it’s not hindered by the group setting.

Frame Request As An Offer:

If you present a favor or request as an offer, it will benefit you and it will make the other person think they are getting more out of the situation as well. It’s a win-win.

Notice Eye Color:

Try to make it a habit to notice the eye color of whoever you are talking to at the time. This life hack helps you more likely to remember the name of the person and to have the right amount of eye contact with this person. It also wouldn’t hurt to throw out a compliment.

Gradual Commitment:

People will most likely agree to a task or favor if you ask them to do something much smaller and easier first.

Teach Someone:

If you are trying to broaden your horizons and learn something new, tag your friend along as well, to teach them about it. Have them ask you questions along the way; to be able to fully understand a concept, you have to be able to teach it as well.
Alter Your Pre-Interview Mindset:
Before heading into an interview, don’t stress yourself out so much. Just pretend yourself into thinking that you’re meeting up with some old friends or college buddies. Just keeping telling yourself you can’t wait to see them and to catch up.

Alter Your Pre-Interview Mindset:

Before heading into an interview, don’t stress yourself out so much. Just pretend yourself into thinking that you’re meeting up with some old friends or college buddies. Just keeping telling yourself you can’t wait to see them and to catch up.

Get Excited:

Being excited, happy, and smiling when meeting someone for the first time is very beneficial. Usually, the other person will remember you having a smiling face, and they should act the same towards you.

Favors Make You Likeable:

Getting someone to do a small task for you must mean they have larger feelings for you, hence, they are actually going through with the favor.

Use First Names:

If you refer people to their names, it establishes a sense of trust and friendliness. For example, when you’re saying hello to someone, say “Hello Jessica!” instead of just “Hi!” People like hearing their name and being needed.

Avoid Filler Words:

Don’t fill conversations with words like “uh.” “like”, and “um.” This clearly indicates that you are trying to scramble your thoughts together, and trying to put it together for a sentence. But, if you take out those filler words, people won’t be able to tell that you are thinking about what to say next; it gives off that you have more confidence than you actually do.

Courage, Not Stress:

Your body reacts to stress the same way it does to courage, so if you’re feeling drained and feel there is no other way out for your stressful ways, tell yourself that you’re reacting to courage, not stress.

Wake Up Instantly:

Have problems waking up immediately? Try pumping your fists into the air and shouting “YAS!” when you first get awakened by the pesky alarm clock.

Clean Up:

Feeling depressed? Start cleaning your home, and you’ll feel accomplished and happy when you’re done.

Source: popsugar.com

Love, Health And Wisdom

Brian

The Most Attractive Type of Body Language

By Jeremy Nicholson M.S.W., Ph.D.

The Attraction Doctor

The information we communicate nonverbally, through our body language, is an important aspect of dating and relating. As I have discussed in previous articles, the right body language can help get you noticed by a potential date or mate. Also, if done correctly, nonverbal communication can help you break the ice in social interactions. Often, body language signals who is interested in you as well.

What about modern dating scenarios, though? How does body language have an impact when someone makes a split-second decision about you — especially in situations like speed dating, online dating profiles, and Tinder-type swipe-matching? What poses get you noticed quickly and spark romantic attraction?

For the answers, I went searching in the social science literature…

Body Language in Modern-Day Dating Contexts

In my search, I found an article by Vacharkulksemsuk and associates (2016). The group explored the role that body language plays in present-day speed dating and online matching (scenarios in which people make decisions about potential partners after brief interactions of only minutes or seconds). Overall, the researchers conducted three studies, looking at different aspects of body language — and noting how those features related to getting a “yes” in speed dating or Tinder-type matching situations.

In the first study, Vacharkulksemsuk and team (2016) observed nonverbal body language in an existing speed-dating scenario. They evaluated the nonverbal behaviors of male-female pairs of speed daters and compared aspects of that behavior to who was picked for a date. The results indicated that daters were more often chosen when they had expansive body language (open postures involving widespread limbs, a stretched torso, and/or enlargement of the occupied space). In fact, for every unit of increase in expansiveness noted by the researchers, the participant was 76 percent more likely to be chosen for a date. Subsequent analyses showed that this effect was true for both men and women — and the increase in romantic attractiveness was partially due to increased perceptions of the individual’s dominance (and potential status and resources as a mate).

In the remaining two studies, Vacharkulksemsuk and associates (2016) evaluated the impact of expansive body language in an online matching situation. In this instance, the researchers made up dating profiles on an online matching site — varying the degree of expansive or contracted body language that the individual showed in their profile picture. Testing these expanded versus contracted poses showed that profiles with the expansive body language pictures were 27 percent more likely to get picked for a “yes” match.

Subsequent testing showed that this effect held for both men and women. Nevertheless, largely due to the fact that men get picked less overall on these types of dating applications, the effect was more powerful for men. Specifically, male profiles were only chosen by women 30 times (out of 1,500 evaluations), but 26 of those picks were for an expansive male profile (87 percent). In comparison, female profiles were chosen by men 790 times (out of 1,483 evaluations), while 421 of those picks were for an expansive female profile (53 percent).

Follow-up analyses also indicated that the increase in romantic attractiveness for both men and women was due to an increase in perceived dominance. Nevertheless, these effects were highly related to perceptions of openness as well. Therefore, expansive body language tends to communicate that a potential partner has both high status and resources, and is potentially open to sharing them with a mate as well. This combination of expansiveness and openness is an attractive signal to possible mates.

Being Open and Expansive Yourself

Overall, the research indicates that having expansive and open body language can potentially increase your romantic attractiveness — especially when someone else has to make a quick decision about you as a mate (with little-to-no direct interaction). Therefore, when you meet someone quickly for the first time, or pose for your online dating profile, keep the following body language features in mind (for the actual poses used in the study, see here(link is external)):

• Be expansive. Whether you are sitting or standing, express yourself with widespread limbs and big expressions. Hold your arms wide, high above your head, or stretch them out across the table or back of a booth.
• Be open. Keep your body poses open, too. Don’t cross your arms or legs (which may indicate nervousness or disinterest). And keep your hands out of your pockets.
• Take up space. Get comfortable and stretch out. Use up the space around you, and don’t collapse your body inward.

As you may see from my previous articles, this type of body language is quite similar to the behaviors men and women use to get noticed in other dating contexts. You can see them in general behaviors women use to flirttoo. In addition, they are very similar to body language that conveys your interest in a partner. By being expansive and open, not only are you getting a potential partner’s attention and increasing your own attractiveness quickly (and with little-to-no interaction), but you are signaling your possible interest in them as well.

Nevertheless, this may not be a strategy for everyone. Sometimes such expansive poses can feel uncomfortable or inauthentic, especially for individuals who are shy or introverted. Such individuals might prefer a different way of finding a mate. If you are uncomfortable with such outgoingposes, you may be more likely to find a match networking through friends and acquaintances and interacting with people over time to show your uniquely attractive characteristics. Rather than having to make a big impact fast, as is often the case with speed dating and swipe-apps, a slower approach will give you the time to become more curious than anxious and use communication to create attraction too.

Love, Health And Wisdom

Brian

People are constantly throwing off a storm of signals. These signals may be silent (non-verbal) messages communicated through the sender’s body movements, facial expressions, voice tone and loudness. Microexpressions, hand gestures, and posture register almost immediately, a silent orchestra that can have long-lasting repercussions.

Here is how you can improve your body language:

5 Ways Our Body Language Speaks Loud and Clear

New research shows how we code, and decode, our body’s messages.

Susan Krauss Whitbourne Ph.D.

Our bodies are constantly speaking for us, whether we want them to or not. People who know you well are probably best able to decipher your body language, but you show bodily cues all the time, even (and maybe especially) to the people you work with. Whether you’re nervous about an impending deadline, annoyed at a co-worker who’s not pulling his or her weight, or ecstatic about good news from home, you’re sending out a steady stream of signals that reveal your internal state. A new paper on nonverbal communication in the workplace by University of Ottawa’s Silvia Bonaccio and colleagues (2016) tells us a bit more about this fascinating area of research.

Before we get to her findings, stop and think about other examples that show the importance of nonverbal communication: During and after the September 26, 2016 debate between Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump, the media pounced on several distinct messages the candidates sent out via their body language. Clinton did a little “shimmy” at one point to celebrate one of Trump’s negative comments about her, but also maintained a calm and poised exterior demeanor throughout most of the debate. Either instinctively or through coaching, she knew how to project an image that balanced authority with approachability. Trump was less able to maintain his outward composure. He had frequent facial grimaces, shifted his body behind the lectern, anxiously sipped water, and infamously snorted into the microphone. When he didn’t agree with what was being said, he showed his displeasure with every twitch of his upper body. In the second debate on October 9, 2016, his bodily cues extended to his adoption of a hulking posture when his opponent was speaking.

One would hope that should you be in such a highly visible position, your body and face would cooperate and allow you to look the part of whatever it is you’re trying to convey. Some people are instinctively better than others at this, and if you’re not blessed with this ability, it may take some effort—and the Bonaccio et al., paper offers some very helpful pointers.

To clarify, nonverbal communication isn’t just what you don’t say. People can communicate verbally with their gestures (as with American Sign Language) and while speaking by accentuating their speech with certain intonations, such as “uptalk.” Bonaccio also points out that verbal and nonverbal communication often interact, such as when you nod to show you agree, inadvertently show fear between your brows while talking to someone who intimidates you, slap someone on the back following a joke, or say that you’re fine while you wipe away tears.

With these clarifications, let’s look at the five major functions of nonverbal communication and how they translate into what goes on in the workplace:

1. Displaying personal attributes in your nonverbal behavior.

Your body language reveals information about your personality, intentions, and attitudes, according to Bonaccio. But you’re somewhat damned if you do and damned if you don’t exhibit these in your behavior. People who are impossible to read are perceived by co-workers as stiff or uninterested in their work, in other people, or both. So-called “thin slices” (brief glimpses) of a person’s behavior can be a pretty good indicator of someone’s actual social skills. Like it or not, people make inferences all the time about these and other characteristics, and do so with amazing speed.

If you want someone to like you in an interview situation, Bonaccio’s study suggests that you use a firm, brief handshake, smile, make eye contact, gesture somewhat with your hands, show expressiveness (but not too much) with your face, and nod your head. Even when the person doing the hiring is instructed to follow a standard interview protocol, these nonverbal cues become an important part of the process. For women, in particular, it’s important to show your competence with a gesture, such as a firm handshake, rather than simply by bragging about yourself and your accomplishments.

2. Showing who’s the boss.

Nonverbal cues provide information about the social hierarchy in a given setting, particularly in a workplace where there is a “vertical” dimension of relationships. You show power through your stance (“power posture”) and through how much you talk, interrupt, make eye contact, use an assertivevocal tone, and seem serious in your facial expressions. Unfortunately, for women, some of these nonverbal cues can backfire. Compared to men, women who show their higher power by talking more are negatively perceived by others, as are women who become visibly angry.

To translate this into gaining greater understanding of your own nonverbal behavior, see whether you really are asserting yourself when you intend to and showing submissiveness when you’re not. Do you inadvertently pull a power pose when you’re talking to your boss? This might not be the best strategy. Instead, show respect by adopting a less aggressive stance. Because gender roles also enter into the equation, take into account, if you’re a man, whether you’re trying to overpower your female supervisor. If you’re a woman, the path to showing dominance is considerably trickier. Be aware of how and when you use your body to communicate who’s the boss and who is not, and adjust according to yours and the gender of those around you. Cultural norms also come into play: As Bonaccio points out, putting your feet on the desk in the American workplace communicates power, but this is not true in East Asian culture.

3. Encouraging people to follow your lead.

You can contribute to a positive environment by getting others to follow your lead through your nonverbal cues. The charismatic leader, Bonaccio points out, uses strong delivery of messages, while showing enthusiasm, confidence, and capability. Good leaders seem to be likable and interested in others, and may even imitate the nonverbal behaviors of others. Their body language conveys passion and the expressions on their faces are consistent with the words they use to deliver their messages.

If you want to get others to join your cause, whether it pertains directly to work tasks or maybe an attempt to sign people up for a charity run, be sure you use your nonverbal communication to inspire and draw others into supporting the effort. You can also use this knowledge about charismatic leadership to understand why your boss is having trouble motivating your team to work harder or better. Not everyone has this capacity, so it might mean that you have give yourself extra motivation when it doesn’t come from your boss.

4. Promoting harmony.

Getting along with co-workers in so-called “horizontal” relationships is another important function you can promote through nonverbal communication. You build trust by using your body cues to establish rapport, draw others into your circle, and mirror the nonverbal behaviors of others; for example, posing the same way they do while standing.

One important feature of harmony, Bonaccio points out, is compassion. You can demonstrate that you care for others through “gentle nonthreatening touch” (p. 1062) while you express your concern for them in the words that you use. If a co-worker tells you a sad story about an ill parent or child, the message your body sends out should be consistent with the empathy that you feel for the person’s situation.

5. Displaying emotion.

The way that you express your emotions through nonverbal cues can, according to research cited by Bonaccio, directly influence the way that other people experience theirs. For example, if you seem distressed after talking to your boss, you’re communicating to others that there may be trouble on the horizon. However, more generally, expressing emotions can have a wide range of effects on everything from productivity to whether a customer provides a large tip to a waitperson.

When you display your emotions, your communication will have more beneficial effects if what you show on your face and body is consistent with what you’re actually feeling. If you try to disguise your emotions by putting on a false set of expressions, people will catch on. And the more you try to disguise those emotions, the more likely it is that your true emotions will “leak out” in small, almost indiscernible expressions. Sometimes it takes a lot of work to accomplish this, which is why people in service industries may suffer from the exhausting effects of “emotional labor.” Either way, being conscious of what you’re feeling and how you’re showing it contributes to a more positive atmosphere.

Reference

Bonaccio, S., O’Reilly, J., O’Sullivan, S. L., & Chiocchio, F. (2016). Nonverbal behavior and communication in the workplace: A review and an agenda for research. Journal of Management, 42(5), 1044-1074. doi:10.1177/0149206315621146

Love, Body and Soul

Brian